I guess that everyone visualizes Bali as a very saint and cultured place, with their unique temples, statues, rice fields and locals wearing traditional outfits. And it wouldn’t be wrong, the Balinese culture and Hinduism affect almost everything on the island. Bali’s culture is felt everywhere; from museums, to hotel lobbies, sacred temples or shops. People wearing their ceremonial attires is a common sight there.

During my stay in Bali, I tried to experience the most I could, so I visited few temples, with a local Balinese friend went to see a local cemetery, visited local families and traditional houses with private temples,… And when I arrived to meet my last Couch surfing host in Bali – Rina, she offered me to join her best friend wedding! I was quite tight with time, but I couldn’t miss the traditional wedding ceremony, it’s a very rare chance to experience it.

I and another Couchsurfer Kate from Hawaii was invited a day before the wedding to watch how the family is preparing for the wedding, cooking, arranging the place and etc. It was already an evening, and when we went, we saw that they haven’t started preparing anything! My biggest concern was food, tomorrow morning should come 400 guests, but still, nothing is done, probably will be a sleepless night for the family.

The biggest attraction of the evening was to slaughter a pig, everyone was very excited and waiting for it, asking us to join the slaughtering and were very proud of it. We really didn’t want to see how they are killing it, but after refusing all the invitations, we thought that would be nice just to go there for a short time and to show respect to the family, cause we can see that it means to them a lot.

The food for the wedding is prepared only by men, women can’t be involved in it, their job is to get dressed and to look pretty for the wedding. That is not a bad idea, I think it should be implemented in other cultures also 🙂 And for real, I saw uncles, cousins and friends sitting around and cutting chillies, onions, meat and etc, while the ladies washing dishes or decorating the tables. There is a head chef also, the groom’s uncle, which is coordinating all the work and cooks the meat.

The bride handed over to us sarungs (traditional outfit) and invited us to come tomorrow to the ceremony which will start 6:30 a.m.! I really didn’t expect it to start so early, but I was looking forward to it and didn’t want to miss anything, costumes, rituals and to feel the whole spirit of Balinese wedding.

In the morning we were greeted by the bride and the groom just next to the entrance to their house. I couldn’t stop analyzing their outfits, it was mindblowing. The bride was wearing a very tight dress, as she said later, it was hard to even breath while wearing it. On her head was a massive diadem which weighs few kilograms and a thick layer of makeup. The groom, also, was dressed in a traditional costume, wearing a few layers: pants, two sarongs, very thick and worm shiny jacket, earrings, a knife behind, a turban and definitely, heavy makeup. Looked like, that to dress the groom took much longer than the bride. In any case, they both looked amazing.

I could expect that the food will not be prepared yet, but that they will be nailing tables while the couple is greeting guests, that was a surprise for me, but I guess it’s normal here. We were watching the ladies preparing for the ceremony in the house, bringing some small baskets with minutiae which are required for the prayers, presents to the gods: eggs, rice, dead chicken, water, corroded coins,… For me, who doesn’t understand the meaning of it, everything looked like a big pile of garbage.

The men of the family were still cooking, we found them still sitting around and cutting inrediens, the same as we left them yesterday. In the house the ladies were dressing up and putting makeup on.

We were like celebrities there, all were jumping around us and offering food or drinks, a chair or a fan, whatever we wanted, just needed to move a finger 😀

The ceremony started without any introduction, actually, I didn’t realize that it’s already happening. Just only a few people were participating in the prayers, the rest were doing their stuff. Looked like only me and Kate were interested in what is happening. The father was saying prayers while the couple was doing all the required rituals in front of that “garbage pile”, few old ladies were watching both of them and telling what to do next, where to bend, when to stand up and so on. Some of the rituals looked really strange, especially when the ladies tightened the couple and asked them to walk around the pile, while other ones were softly beating them with a branch. Some of the relatives, who were sitting next to us and could speak English, tried to explain to us all of it, but later on, they agreed that they also don’t know what and why they are doing all of the rituals.

The sweat was running through couple’s faces and they kept bending over and over with several kilograms of clothing and accessories. It was sad to watch them, so I went to see what other people are doing, and suddenly, at the end of the garden, I noticed that another ceremony is also going on. An old man sitting on a small stage and telling prayers accompanying bells and spreading an incense smoke towards the wedding guests and towards the pig which was on a separate stage. Yes, the same pig which we were watching dying yesterday…

After some time, the couple joined the old man for the prayers, they were blessed and sprinkled with water. And when it looked like that already 4 hours lasting wedding ceremony is finished, the couple invited us to join another session of prayers at the temple outside the house. We followed them, but couldn’t stay there for long, we thought that for the first time is way too much of prayers and worshiping.

It’s already mid of the wedding, but the wedding venue is still not ready, with some plastic garbage on the ground. But maybe their standards are different, and they don’t think that it’s dirty. It’s south-east Asia, garbage everywhere became a normal thing here and locals don’t see it anymore.

The food is one of the main attractions during the wedding, all kept inviting us to eat, we just finish the plate and can see someone else is coming towards us and moving hands showing the table. Also, there is the pig cooked overnight next to the entrance, colourful sweets and cakes,… I needed a second stomach if I wanted to try all. But I used my handbag and collected snacks for my 10 hours bus ride which I had to take after the wedding.

The couple came back after total of 5 hours of rituals, and finally could relax and enjoy the wedding. The outfits were changed to more comfortable ones and they dived into chatting with the guests. We were very popular, definitely, the only foreigners in the wedding, so many people came to take pictures with us, and those who could speak English just a bit, wanted to have a chat and to hear from us how we like the wedding. One uncle came closer and told to us “we really appreciate that you are wearing our national sarongs, but they are tight wrongly, but just leave like this, all understand”.